The UK BDSM scene can be a rough one (no pun intended). It can be very difficult to connect with like-minded kinky people who both get the scene and share the same kinks and fetishes.

That’s why when using BDSM dating sites, it’s important to know that your site is on the level and that its user base is likewise.

As a sub, it’s particularly important that I can trust anybody I might meet to respect me and my boundaries. 

After much research and trial and error, I’ve narrowed the list to the seven best BDSM dating sites I think are the best in the UK for those seeking BDSM relationships.

Here are my top picks. 

Fetlife 

Fetlife bills itself as “like Facebook, but a community run by kinksters like you and me”. The Fetlife team is populated entirely by BDSM, sex and kink enthusiasts.

As a result, this BDSM dating site is as personally invested as you or me in cultivating an online fetish environment conducive to BDSM enthusiasts – whether that means simply talking to like-minded people or something more. 

Why Use This BDSM Dating Website? 

There are over two million female members on this BDSM dating website, and it also sees a lot of group activity in terms of discussions.

It’s a great space for vets and newbies alike to discuss BDSM, ask questions and learn about meetups, conventions and other social events on the scene. 

Fetlife pricing, messaging and more 

The Fetlife dating community is free to use, although members must provide an email address and mobile phone number upon sign-up.

Fetlife isn’t linked to other social media accounts like Facebook or Twitter, so you can’t easily sign up using another account.

There’s even a ‘Perv Kinkster Nearby’ function that allows you to find fetish dating enthusiasts in your area.

Remember that all of this – including direct messaging – is free, making Fetlife a great online dating option for budget-conscious kinksters in the BDSM lifestyle. 

Alt.com

If Fetlife is the Facebook of BDSM sites, then Alt.com is the Tinder. But while Alt.com does offer the typical swipe dating game of some other more mainstream dating apps, it’s much more than that.

With testimonials from satisfied kinky people, community-created icons called ‘blings’, fully customizable icons including your kinks and even astrological compatibility tests, there’s no shortage of BDSM and fetish features on the Alt.com site.

Why use Alt.com? 

Alt.com is one of the best BDSM dating sites around for a great number of reasons. Even if not using a paid subscription, there is a good level of user satisfaction.

It provides a fantastic launching point for BDSM singles just beginning to explore the BDSM community.

You can sign up individually or as a couple or group if you’re poly/swinger. There is a huge base of active users, and plenty of sexual kinks are correspondingly catered to. 

Alt.com has sophisticated privacy and security settings for those wishing to preserve their privacy when browsing BDSM sites.

Its online dating search filters (for seeking out those kinks we just discussed) are second to none. 

Simply put, a wealth of features make Alt.com one of the premier BDSM sites on the scene. 

Alt.com Pricing 

As mentioned, there is a free subscription to this BDSM dating site, but to get the most out of Alt.com you’ll want to get a paid one.

This will unlock private messaging and allow you to use the search filters on the site to their fullest potential – and the search filters on Alt.com are quite simply second to none, with a dizzying array of BDSM fetish and kinks on offer. 

There are two basic packages on offer if you want a paid subscription: the silver service, purchasable either in a 3-month ($42.27, or $14.09/month) or a 12-month package ($117.47, or $9.79/month). 

For those who want slightly more bang for their buck, there is the gold membership option, available as a 4-month purchase (erroneously listed as 3 months with 1 month free – it’s $70.47 or $17.62/month) or a 12-month one ($176.66, or around $14.72/month). 

What’s the difference between the two? Gold unlocks slightly more site options, such as unlimited access to other users’ videos, chat rooms, blogs, groups and magazine features and a guarantee that your name will display at the top of other members’ searches. 

Adult Friend Finder 

AdultFriendFinder is a kinky site that doesn’t bother with the niceties of apps like Tinder or Bumble, where it’s about finding a relationship – it’s just about finding a casual sexual partner. 

AFF attracts 50 million users per month, with a good chunk of those visitors coming from the BDSM community in the UK and is a seriously large online community.

The site/app itself is full of sexually explicit photos, videos and invitations, so you shouldn’t have trouble finding like-minded sexual members with whom to video call or meet up. 

Why use Adult Friend Finder? 

Because it’s a bit like an interactive PornHub – where you can potentially meet the porn stars. It’s super easy and hassle-free to sign up, and once you do, you can create a profile.

The more effort you put into your dating profile, the more attention you’ll get from other users, so it’s wise not to skip this bit! 

Once these are taken care of, you’ll get to the PornHub-esque bit of this adult dating site – a collage of other users replete with explicit videos/photos for you to peruse at your leisure.

AFF also has fantastic filters, making it easy to narrow the playing field to the kind of person you’re looking for – and since you’re reading this article, I’m betting you’re looking for someone into the same sort of kinky stuff that you’re into. 

Pricing of AdultFriendFinder 

While it’s technically possible to use the site for free (a bit like a ‘freemium’ game), it’s honestly so time-consuming that you’re better off just getting a paid subscription. 

AFF’s paid subscription is called a ‘gold’ membership and confers several benefits upon you, the humble kinkster.

You’ll be able to watch explicit videos that are blurred out for free users, your profile is featured much higher than it otherwise would be, and you get unlimited messaging, making it that much easier to find that special someone to gag and spank you. 

It’s also a good idea to stick to gold-membership partners, particularly as a woman. That gold badge doesn’t just mean he/she’s willing to pay for a better experience; it means it’s more likely that there’s a real person on the other end of the internet rather than some random weirdo catfish. 

So how much is a gold membership? Well, as is often the case with these sites, the longer the subscription you buy, the cheaper it is every month.

At the time of writing, one month purchased singly was $28.91, in a 3-month package $19.26, and in a 12-month package $12.98. If you plan on using AFF extensively (and you should), it’s obviously best to buy a whole year. 

Ashley Madison 

The infamous Ashley Madison site is more renowned as a cheating website/app than a dating one, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t have its fair share of kinksters.

In fact, Ashley Madison has rebranded itself as an app for people seeking more adventurous sexual experiences and thus has attracted no small number of BDSM enthusiasts.

Why use Ashley Madison? 

There’s no reason you shouldn’t use alternative dating websites like Ashley Madison – it’s completely free.

This is obviously done as a move to keep the site’s female numbers on the up and up, and it seems to be working, with more women using the website than ever. 

The site is also really easy to sign up for, and if you want an extra layer of privacy, you can blur your face out of pictures or even apply a mask filter. 

Pricing of Ashley Madison 

As I said, dating on Ashley Madison is completely free for female users – the same cannot be said for male users. 

Ashley Madison operates a little differently from other dating/sex apps because it doesn’t feature a monthly subscription.

It instead sports a credit system, which guys use to message people they’re interested in, live-chat and buy gifts. 

Like monthly subscriptions on many other services, credits are cheaper in bulk. 100 credits cost about $0.57/credit, 500 about $0.32/credit, and 1000 credits roughly $0.26. That’s less than half-price if you buy in bulk – not a bad deal. 

MILFFinder.com

MilfFinder.com is exactly what it sounds like – a dating/sex website for those who are looking for a mature lady or a younger man with whom to experiment, particularly for those in the fetish and BDSM lifestyle. 

Luckily, it’s really easy to sign up for Milffinder.com (registration is straightforward and free) and create a profile, and once you do that, you’re good to start looking for the person of your dreams. 

Once you’ve set up your dating profile, you’ll have a bunch of thumbnails to browse from a variety of older BDSM ladies; you can simply click on the thumbnails to get a better look at their gallery or direct message them.

There are also a variety of search filters if you want to get more specific in your desires (which, of course, you do). 

Why use MilfFinder.com For Fetish and Bondage Dating? 

Because the free options are very generous, and the interface is stylish, intuitive and uncluttered.

It’s very easy to navigate the site/app, and the aforementioned search filters can be used to narrow your search quickly and easily. 

It’s also – despite its niche nature – quite heavily trafficked. Around 2.5 million people visit the site/use the app monthly, which means a lot of chances for you to get your freak on with hot MILFs.

It also features, similarly to Ashley Madison, a proprietary currency system that means you’re only paying for the actions you take rather than paying a flat monthly fee. 

MilfFinder.com pricing 

As mentioned, Milf Finder has a proprietary currency system called, simply enough, ‘coins’. As is often the case, the more you spend, the more you get.

Instead of offering a discount, the Milf Finder site simply gives you bonus coins when you spend more.

Pricing starts all the way from $1.80 for 110 coins up (with 10 bonus coins) to $91 for 6820 coins (620 of which are bonus coins). 

MyBDSMhookups.com 

Where sites like Ashley Madison and Milf Finder might have their niches for kinksters, BDSM and fetish dating sites like MyBDSMHookups.com is all niche.

MyBDSMhookups.com is like a bondage dating site crossed with a social network catering to fetishists and kinksters, and once you’re registered and have your profile set up, you’ll have access to fellow fetish enthusiasts. 

Why use This BDSM Site? 

Uniquely, MyBDSMhookups.com has a great group chat feature, which allows a bunch of people to chat about the scene in general in a much more relaxed and less high-pressure way than, say, if you were direct-messaging a stranger you’d just met. 

There are also some fantastic search filters, and you can put an introductory video into your profile, which helps you quickly figure out who’s for you and who isn’t.

You can also video-chat – a quick and easy feature to avoid any fake profiles, and simply make for a great way to get to know new people before deciding whether to meet or not. 

All in all, MyBDSMHookups offers a compelling fetish social network-style package for kink and bondage enthusiasts. 

MyBDSMHookups.com pricing 

The site is perfectly usable without purchasing a subscription. Still, it’s recommended that you do because it boosts your visibility and makes finding other kinky users on the app much easier. 

MyBDSMHookups offers monthly subscriptions. The longer you sign up, the bigger the discount. One month costs $39.95, 3 months $94.95, and 6 months is $129.95. 

Bondagepal.com 

Another kink website that wears its heart very firmly on its sleeve, Bondagepal.com is pretty much exactly what it sounds like and caters to users in the kink and fetish community.

Though Bondagepal.com is a hookup site, it’s not your typical swipe left/right affair and instead sports a powerful search feature and a thumbnail-style layout where you can swiftly hone in on people who interest you to send them a like.

Ease of use, coupled with a bright, vibrant color scheme, makes Bondagepal.com a kinky BDSM app that is a joy to use. 

Why Use This Fetish Dating Site? 

In addition to the BDSM dating features mentioned above, it’s pretty easy to find like-minded people in the kink community via the ‘flirt’ feature on this dating site, in which you compose a message that can be quickly sent to people with BDSM interests similar to yours. 

The Bondage Pal online dating site is also excellent for going beyond the usual gender binary and offering plenty of interesting BDSM singles of various sexual persuasions you might not find elsewhere online.

Bondage Pal pricing

Though you can use this BDSM dating site with a free membership feature, it’s a bit limited; some messages you receive are blurred out, and you can only send a certain number of messages to chat with more popular open-minded users. You will also have to put up with ads. 

Buying a subscription to this kinky dating site eliminates all of that. It is worth doing if you’re serious about finding fellow open-minded BDSM kinksters who share your sexual fetishes or lifestyle. 

Bondage pal offers weekly subscriptions for $10.95, monthly for $25.95, 3 months for $42.95 and 6 months for $61.95.

There are also whopping 75% discounts if you want to try either a weekly or monthly subscription out. 

The Best BDSM Dating Sites Are Waiting For You To Explore!

There are many kink, lifestyle, and fetish dating websites around, and though I’ve only covered a fraction of them, I hope I’ve managed to separate the wheat from the chaff and give you an idea of some of your better options on the BDSM scene.

To round off, I wish you the best of luck in finding new partners and groups to indulge in fetishes, relationships, and casual sex!

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